Greater Than Financial is a fee-only, fiduciary financial planning firm specializing in planning for the busy families of Kansas City’s Northland and across the United States

Live a Rich Life: Hosting an Exchange Student


In June, one of the most incredible experiences of Sara and I’s lives came to an end. But we couldn’t be more excited. How could that be?

While watching the 2018 Winter Olympics, Sara and I decided to research Young Life’s exchange student program called Amicus. We had heard about the program via email for about 6 months and it sparked our interest. So when we saw the international parade of the Winter Olympics opening ceremonies, we thought, “let’s take a real look at this!”

A few days later, we had picked a 16 year old from Germany to live with us for 10 months! It was an adventure for all of us, and one that we are excited to share via the interview with Annika in the above video. Please watch it!

These are the kinds of experiences that don’t help your net worth, but definitely help you live a rich life. And what’s the point of our money if it’s not helping us live richly?

Having an extra person in our household for nearly a year has a financial, time and energy cost. But it was SO worth it because our family now has a relationship with Annika that is priceless! She is forever part of our family and we will never forget her, her gracious heart, and the memories we shared together.

Be sure to take time to reflect on the opportunities you may be missing to trade in some of your skills, time, energy AND money for a rich life. A life that is **_greater than_** what you or any others have been living! Amicus was a great example of an opportunity we very well could have missed, but are so grateful we didn’t.


Crucial Conversations


Crucial Conversations is a child of [The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36072.The_7_Habits_of_Highly_Effective_People_Powerful_Lessons_in_Personal_Change "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey"). Crucial Conversations does a deep dive into applying the 7 habits into our dialogue.

Crucial Conversations' main premise/question, "What do I really want out of this conversation?", is intuitive yet powerful. People rarely exert the will or know-how to slow down enough to consider that question when they try to dialogue. So our conversations end up careening out of control and we all walk away worse off.

And if we will believe it, it is actually our fault we lose control! We sabotage our desires by not slowing down long enough to engage other people thoughtfully.

It is true, we do not control the people we engage with. So when they don't act or speak like we desire we are tempted to believe we have no options. "This person's behavior is keeping me from what I want and I have no control....I'm a victim." Does that mean we have no options? Or are there ways we can speak and behave that empower us to get what we want out of even very difficult situations? Crucial Conversations' theory is that we do have power.

The question above ("what do I really want?") is the one I will keep in the front of mind after this read, but the book actually has numerous tools to help deploy in our conversations and attempts at dialogue. Most of these tools have acronyms (ABC, STATE, CRIB), and the authors have helped by turning the tools into a [Crucial Conversations Model](https://greaterthanfinancial.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Crucial-Conversations-Model-Poster.pdf) that would be easier to commit to memory than words. However, the only way these tools become powerful is if one practices them. Over and over and over.

The most effective practice would be role playing. However, role-playing makes most so uncomfortable, they won't try it. However, if you find that you have multiple relationships that cause you stress instead of adding joy to your life, isn't the practice and the role-playing worth a shot? Is there any chance you see no positive difference in those relationships?

#### So Many Applications

It was difficult for me to keep my brain focused on particular applications of the book's tools. My mind kept hopping from applications in my family, to my church family, to my role as President of the Chamber of Commerce, to my client interactions, to Young Life leaders, to Young Life students, to my community, to my friendships.

If I had more time, I would reread the book at least a few times with the goal of focusing on one particular area of application each time. I'd start with my family, because they are the closest to me physically and emotionally. Then I would read the book again thinking about client interactions. My hope is that I can broadly and effectively apply the tools to those areas after reading the book only once. We'll see how it goes!

#### Should you read?

This book has principles that can be applied to everyone and every organization and so I would recommend it to all. I would love to see a kids version of Crucial Conversations meant for kids between 6 and 12 years old. But parents modeling will be the best teaching tool our kids can have to help them learn effectiveness in their conversations and relationships.

As a leader in a few organizations (Young Life, Church, Chamber of Commerce) I will strongly encourage others in those organizations to read or listen to this book as well.

The toughest challenge to apply these principles will be truly dying to our own desires and genuinely wanting to see others' desires gratified. Most are simply unwilling to want that and it will take a change of heart to get there. But what if this book is the beginning of changing our heart? Seeing that our hearts are actually the problem instead of others?

In my experience, I have often been my own worst enemy keeping me from the fullest and most gratified life I was created for. Everyday I come to believe that a bit more, and these types of books certainly speed that process.

If you're ready for that type of journey, then move Crucial Conversations towards the top of your reading list.


Happy Money


More money → more choices → more happiness. Right? But what about “mo money mo problems”? Or what about this:

[![](https://greaterthanfinancial.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/050be3a7ee7c445cd77f91af77d919e7-300x199.jpg)](https://greaterthanfinancial.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/050be3a7ee7c445cd77f91af77d919e7.jpg)

What is the truth about if money can make us happy and if so, how? That’s what _Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending_ addresses.

I had heard one of the book's authors, Elizabeth Dunn, speak at [XYPN Live](http://info.xyplanningnetwork.com/xypn-live) last September. She was the best speaker of the conference, providing numerous “that’s interesting” and “I’ve never thought of it that way” moments. Her book is simply an expansion of those same thoughts.

**Does money buy happiness?**\
Yes. That’s it….yes, money does buy happiness. It’s true and research backs it up, and my own experience backs it up, and it’s likely yours does as well.

BUT is happiness subject to the law of diminishing returns? That’s economist speak that says more money eventually does not buy more happiness. In fact, it doesn’t take long to run out of space to buy happiness. How long? Research says that it’s rare to increase “happiness” with more money after your annual income reaches \$75,000. [Here’s the research](https://www.pnas.org/content/pnas/107/38/16489.full.pdf) if interested.

All of those findings are actually established in the prologue of the book….really, all within the first few pages. The rest of the book argues there are ways to make spending decisions that will make us happier, even after our annual income goes north of \$75,000.

_Happy Money_ lays out 5 ways to spend money research suggests will make us happiest. The book doesn’t keep you in suspense or drag out the revelation of those 5 ways. It tells you the 5 ways in the table of contents, and then again in the prologue, and then uses the chapters to elaborate on each. Here are the 5 strategies and the meat of the book:

**Buy Experiences**\
In a culture of plastic, throw-away goods this point seems obvious. But the goods the authors emphasize aren’t plastic toys. The authors point out that bigger, nicer houses and bigger, nicer cars will deliver less happiness than if you bought minimal living quarters and minimal transportation and used the extra money to do awesome things.

Do awesome things, don’t buy awesome things. What you buy will always deteriorate and diminish, but what you do will live on as a cherished memory, that actually gets even more valuable as time passes. How cool is that….memories are an appreciating asset!

Do my experiences with clients and my own life confirm this suggestion? Absolutely. Bigger houses and, to a lesser extent, nicer cars have rarely satisfied my clients, and those two items are usually the double whammy that makes American family's budget so stinkin’ tight! Those families then feel budget pressure in all areas of their life, especially their work and the pressure created to make more money.

And another great part about buying experiences is you don’t have to find a place to store them when their finished….unless you count the videos and pictures (but that’s what Google Photos or the iCloud is for).

**Make it a Treat**\
It’s easy to believe there can be too much of a good thing. I still remember fondly reading The Chocolate Touch in elementary school. In the book, a kid loves chocolate so much, soon everything he touches soon turns to chocolate. The treat becomes a curse.

Some of our favorite things aren’t giving us the satisfaction they could because we indulge ourselves too often with them, says the research. Those things might include drinking a fancy coffee, driving a nice (or really, really nice) car, eating a nice meal, drinking soda, and more. So what’s the answer?

Simple. Take advantage of these treats on a limited basis and your satisfaction with them will go up, producing more happiness for you.

Scarcity makes anything more desirable. I see this often with my children. When there’s 10 kids lined up to say, take a go-kart ride, there’s much more desire to take the ride simply because 9 other kids also want to do so. Putting the kid on a go-kart with no one else lined up waiting for the experience doesn’t take away all the fun, but it does change the experience.

We have control over making any treat more scarce in our life, and can manipulate our own ability to enjoy our “treats” more fully.

**Buy Time**\
Carl Richards, in his book The One Page Financial Plan, makes the point that we are always exchanging 4 resources for one another: money, energy, skills, and time. In _Happy Money_, the authors suggest we need to be more eager to exchange our money for more time, particularly for the tasks we dislike.

Some easy examples are to pay someone to do your house cleaning if you hate it. Have someone else do your grocery shopping, or almost any task you despise for you via websites like Instacart or [Fiverr](https://www.fiverr.com/) or [TaskRabbit](https://www.taskrabbit.com/).

I think this principle applies the best when thinking about how we work and how much time we spend working. You can’t buy time at work like you can when you hire someone to mow your lawn, but you can sacrifice compensation to find better work.

As a financial planner, I have come to believe that the single most impactful change a family needs to consider is how they spend their “working” hours. And yes, it will likely mean a decrease in money, but maybe not, and maybe not for long. And even if it’s a permanent decrease in comp, is it possible it’s still worth it if it makes you….happier??

It’s an extremely important point that this book doesn’t focus on because they are focusing on where we spend our money, but the principles apply. Sara and I reflect on how we’re are spending our working hours at least weekly and if you aren’t doing the same, I highly recommend it.

**Pay Now, Consume Later**\
The pain of paying is real, and it can actively steal joy away from the things or experiences we buy. The solution? Separate the payment from the pleasure.

Actually, many people in the US are already well-versed in this. They swipe their credit card, they get their goods, and they don’t have to worry about payment for weeks! But we all know that’s not a winning strategy.

How about an alternative? What if we pay for things well in advance, that way by the time we experience our purchase, the pain of paying is well behind us, almost forgotten? Research says this is the answer to more happy spending.

An example could include a concert ticket purchased months in advance of the show, or a cake you pre-ordered from a student’s fundraiser at school.

I saw this applied most evidently by friends describing their trip to Walt Disney World. My friends loved their trip and gave me some tips on how I should plan my own family Disney trip. They insisted I had to get a Disney meal plan because it made it so much more enjoyable to eat meals and get treats in the parks knowing you didn’t have to shell out the \$8 for a Mickey shaped ice cream sandwich.

That family actually did have to shell out the \$8, and much more, for their food at the park, but they paid it months before when planning for the trip, so they had much more enjoyment at the parks.

For the record, I still don’t recommend getting the meal plan at Disney because you’ll end up spending way more on food than is necessary for a great time at Disney parks, and you’ll end up consuming way more calories than you want to. But don’t let a curmudgeon like me get in the way of what science says equals the happiest way to spend your money!

**Invest in Others**\
The final strategy for happy spending is to give your money away! The authors admit how counter-intuitive this seems, but their own lives and the research once again back up the principle. And I will wholeheartedly attest the principle of giving money away works like a miracle (impossible to explain, but has evident power).

The researchers mentioned in the book studied the effects of giving in multiple ways and found that being charitable with money has a whole host of benefits that are both physiological and physical. The only type of giving that wasn’t very beneficial was forced giving (where someone was required, say by an employer or a parent, to give).

As a person who believes God’s Word is true, it’s really enjoyable to see Biblical teachings confirmed by research and validated by our experiences in the world. This is definitely a point where a Christian could step in and say, “I can trust God when he asks me to trust Him, even to do a hard thing like give away my possessions.”

**Simple Ideas, Powerful Application**\
Any one of the five strategies above could lead to significant increases in your life satisfaction and well being, a.k.a. your happiness. The book is fun and easy to read and multiple stories and studies are shared to prove each strategy.

One word of caution from my perspective and I’ll put it in the form of a question: Is happiness really your goal in life? If we did everything this book suggested in all 5 areas, and the actions indeed made us happy, would we be satisfied? Unfortunately, I don’t think we would be.

What if you followed all these principles and life was going great, and you’re very happy, but then your spouse gets diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer? Or the economy crashes and you lose your job? Or your child’s car gets hit by a distracted driver? These things are out of your control, yet they can take all your happiness in an instant.

In the past, I would have claimed that all I want is to be happy. That’s all most people want. The goal for myself though has shifted away from happiness, and onto lasting peace.

When someone has peace they are often going to have accompanying happiness. But happiness isn’t required for peace. And all of those mentioned nightmare scenarios can come, and they would steal our happiness, but they’ll never take our peace….if our peace is invested in something greater than the resources and experiences of this world.

Granted, this book could be called Peaceful Money and all the applications would still hold true (and they probably would have sold less copies). Almost the entire book agrees with Scripture on how we use our resources, particularly the investing in others strategy.

The only knock on _Happy Money_ is the epilogue. If you read it you’ll figure out quickly why it’s difficult to digest.

The ideas of the book are strong and I do recommend reading _Happy Money_, however if you just want to know the key points to focus on you can get away with reading the prologue.

Always remember that the choices you make with your money, and all your resources, matter, and if you don’t have peace, or happiness, then seek help because peace is always being offered to you….freely.


Thou Shall Prosper


_Money is a great way to measure if you’re a valuable human being_. That’s my controversial one line summary of Rabbi Daniel Lapin’s book, _Thou Shall Prosper_.

#### **Why I read this book**

I have been going through as many of [Dave Ramsey’s “library”](https://www.daveramsey.com/store/Daves-Library/cDavesLibrary.html) recommendations as possible, and _Thou Shall Prosper_ has been on my reading list for at least 3 years.

The title alone is intriguing, but it’s usually refreshing to get a different cultural perspective on a familiar topic. I’m not sure how closely Rabbi Lapin’s thoughts on money align with Jewish culture at large, but he definitely gives fresh perspective.

#### **The substance**

Rabbi Lapin uses ten chapters to give ten commandments for making money. Some chapters are more “rich” than others, but all were worthwhile. This book is very philosophical (the author would say spiritual) but it is also highly practical. At the end of each chapter, there are bullet point steps to take to fulfill the money making commandment.

The major philosophical argument is that business gets a horrible wrap from the world at large, specifically the media and those with socialistic political views. Rabbi Lapin makes an effective case that not only is business not bad, but it is the very epitome of goodness, something valuable.

How is business so good? Simply because business transactions always involve at least two parties who voluntarily exchange one resource for another. When those exchanges are made, it makes at least those two parties better off than they were before. There are times when there is a winner and a loser in a transaction, but most times there are multiple winners. Everyone is often better off when exchanges, or trades, happen.

Rabbi Lapin says most people don’t succeed in business because their minds and hearts won’t allow them to, because we’ve been conditioned to believe business is evil.

#### **YOU are in business**

Before you start thinking this is only a book for business owners, hear this plea from Rabbi Lapin:

> Almost everyone is in business. You have your time, skills, experience, personality, and some other attributes to market. You have customers, clients, supervisors, employers, associates, bosses, or patients to please. You many not realize it, but you probably even have a board of directors. It consists of you as chairperson, perhaps your spouse, and maybe some of your trusted friends with whom you discuss your professional career. These people are also unpaid members of the board of You, Inc.

That’s an empowering idea if you can live like _you_ are the CEO and President of _You, Inc._ Not only that, but it may be one of the most secure ideas you ever let your mind chew on. Because if You, Inc. has one customer generating revenue (your employer), then that puts You, Inc. in a very precarious position. If anything disrupts that one “customer” of You, Inc., all of You, Inc. could be going under.

The alternative is to diversify You, Inc.’s prospects a bit and take more control over _your life and money_ as opposed to leaning heavily or entirely on an employer.

This book gave me a few different nuggets like that which shifted my thinking.

#### A distorted view of money

My biggest knock on _Thou Shall Prosper_ is the book’s tendency to elevate money to a very high status. Like dangerously high. However, Rabbi Lapin would classify my concerns as part of the negative conditioning this world has laid on business and money.

But as I examine my own experience and Christian Scripture, particularly the Gospels, I don’t see money as having a primary, or even a secondary, role in discovering the fullness of life we believe God created us for. Granted, Rabbi Lapin doesn’t have the Gospels of Christ as part of his Holy texts. But I do, and I think Jesus’s words and life give us the greatest example of how to realize full life and complete joy.

The view of money espoused is simply too high. Instead, I think a neutral money philosophy is the key. Money is not an ends and it is not good in itself, but it is also not evil.

Rabbi Lapin does point to an intense focus on serving and creating value for people as the road to monetary prosperity. And even encourages to not treat people as a means to material wealth. But despite those admonitions, the book does elevate money above people.

The good news is that under this philosophy, even if someone’s end goal is to accumulate as much wealth as possible, they will have to treat people really well and create a lot of value for other people to get there.

As for you and me, I believe we have to relentlessly emphasize that money, time, and our other gifts are all given to serve and love people. And merely using people to enhance our money, time, or other gifts will always leave us discontent.

Finally, Rabbi Lapin does very little to reassure those who have chosen to serve others with their lives and not be monetarily rewarded. The most obvious example in my life is Sara, my wife, who has chosen to dedicate her time serving her husband and children by doing full-time homemaking. Another example as the numerous folks who volunteer their efforts and take significantly reduced salaries to do work they love or feel is valuable.

In all of those cases, Rabbi Lapin’s money philosophy belittles those who have sacrificed in such ways. Money is not the best way to measure the value of a human, or human productivity.

#### **Recommendation**

I recommend _Thou Shall Prosper_, but not in isolation. I believe someone whose primary money philosophy is taken from the pages of this book will not clearly see how God designed us to use the resources and economies of this world. Get other perspectives, particularly from the Bible and then test them for yourself.


The Millionaire Next Door


I am quick to play the victim card in my head. When something doesn’t go my way or I don’t get something I want, I quickly find the outside forces I can blame on why I didn’t get my way.

Most people suffer from focusing on the external forces rocking our world as opposed to the internal feelings, motivations, and preferences that we actually have control over.

External conditioning (how forces outside ourselves shape our decisions) is the theme of _The Millionaire Next Door_ by Thomas Stanley and William Danko. The premise is that many people who have wealth, or what the authors call **PAWs (prodigious accumulators of wealth)** don’t live like most think they would. Basically, PAWs avoid high dollar luxuries and live frugally, and it’s that very nature that made them wealthy in the first place.

Contrast that to the **UAWs (under accumulators of wealth)**. These folks may have incomes north of 6 figures, but ultimately, they accumulate very little wealth because of their spending habits. They do what comes natural…they spend…a lot.

Granted, that spending allows them to experience some very nice vacations, some very name brand clothing, some sweet vehicles, and some very large living spaces. However, it does not secure their financial future. If these high earners were to have a disruption in their income, many could not go longer than a year before they would be completely broke and some much less time than that.

The contrast between the PAWs and the UAWs takes up the entire first half of the book. Then the authors took a shift that surprised me. In much of the latter half of the book, it turns into a parenting book!

The authors don’t focus on the contrast of PAWs and UAWs children. Instead, they focus more on what happens to children that causes them to develop into a PAW or a UAW as adults. Being a PAW does not guarantee your children will pick up on the principles that helped their parents accumulate wealth.

In fact, research shows that children who receive substantial financial support from their parents often never develop the ability to sustain themselves. They survive on what the authors call Economic Outpatient Care (dependency on financial gifts and support from the folks).

It is reasonable and seemingly virtuous for a parent to want to help their kid, especially for something such as advancing education via college. But the research showed that large financial gifts to kids can be incredibly dangerous to a child’s ability to become financially independent if such gifts are given before the child has already proven independence.

_Perhaps some parents prefer the children to be indefinitely dependent_, because with dependence comes a level of control that many parents desire to maintain over their children, or children-in-law, and later grandchildren.

Personally, I want to raise independent kids. And my guess is you do too. Not because I don’t like to keep my kids close or want them to come around often as adults. I certainly do! But I can’t guarantee how long I or their mother will be around. If something does separate us from our children, I expect my kids to mourn. But **_not_** because they are fearful of how they’ll find provision.

My take is this: our children have to experience pain in their lives so seeds of love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control can be planted **deep within their souls**. Powerful experiences are the only thing that can get those seeds deep enough into our children’s hearts to make them take root without our constant supervision or intervention. Those powerful experiences often come with pain.

This book shows the difference financial discomfort can have on our kids. Allow your child to know what work is required to be financial successful, or what it takes to earn and pay for a college degree. They deserve that from you!

But it’s not enough to limit the painful experiences to money. Our children need to learn the same when facing relational turmoil or when searching for answers to the universe’s biggest questions.

Before accusing me of masochism, know that I HATE pain personally. I fear pain much more than death. And I HATE even worse the thought of my (or others’) children enduring pain. But I would much rather have my children go through difficult experiences when I am there to comfort and catch them.

My heart breaks for the kids who are sheltered from pain/sacrifice all their lives only to get punched in the gut by the world once they leave home and feel completely unequipped to pick themselves back up.

I didn’t expect to get fired up about parenting when I read this book! But our children’s lives are the legacy that can be far more rewarding and enduring that our net worth. So it’s worth learning what other financially successful people have done to liberate (or handicap) their children.

Regarding this book and the recommendation to read it…I haven’t read enough other books to classify _The Millionaire Next Door_ as a must read. But I think if you find you and your family taking your cues from the world instead of making decisions based on your priorities, including spending and savings decisions, than this book will be of great value.

Finally, if you need some financial empowerment, this book can deliver. The case is strongly made that your ability to accumulate wealth rests solely on your shoulders and your ability to make wise spending (and earning) decisions. If you can do that, financial independence is within reach for you. And for all people…that’s news worth sharing.


The Great Depression, A Diary (or why buying low is so hard)


Benjamin Roth was a young lawyer living and working in Youngstown, Ohio during the Great Depression. In June of 1931, just over 19 months after the calamitous stock market crash in late October of 1929, Roth started journaling his thoughts about the stock market, banks, his law practice, politics, and investment opportunities.

After the stock market crashed in 2008, Roth’s son, Daniel, knew it was time to honor his father’s memory by publishing his father’s writings. The timing was right, and although we are now 8 years removed from the stock market lows of 2009, Roth’s accounts of the Great Depression refreshed my thoughts of our most recent economic catastrophe.

## The importance of this book

Beware the danger of hindsight bias. Here’s the definition:

_“the inclination, after an event has occurred, to see the event as having been predictable, despite there having been little or no objective basis for predicting it”_

It is a near impossibility to keep our hindsight bias from kicking into gear when examining historical events. Our bias often leads us to overconfidence, luring us into making decisions for the wrong reasons, possibly damaging our lives and our loved ones along the way.

_That is exactly why Roth’s personal account of the events and people of the 1930s is so valuable._ When considering the Great Depression, I have been quick to make judgement on how leaders, business people, and families should have reacted if they would have only kept their calm and made rational decisions.

I can’t say how representative Roth’s reactions to the Depression were of all who lived through it, but he is proof that there were people able to keep their emotions in check while the economy was collapsing around them. Roth’s dispassion is remarkable, especially considering he was responsible for providing for his wife and 3 young children during that time.

But Roth was not without reasons for hope even during dire economic times. He was an educated professional, and as an educated man, he had knowledge of history to rely upon.

Most historical market charts used today start in the 1920s which causes the history of markets before the 20s to be downplayed, if not forgotten.

However, Roth had a high awareness, not only of the stock market and investments in the 1920s, but also of economic recessions in the United States prior to the Great Depression. Roth didn’t even own stock when the Great Crash hit (only 2.5% of Americans did), but he was highly aware of stock markets happenings and history.

Roth often references the crashes and recessions of the 19th century, and uses them to forecast the length, severity, and opportunity of the Great Depression. Many of his predictions are far off (just like everyone else’s of that time…and today). But many of his insights were remarkable. The richest part of Roth’s diary is his predictions of the future and the later comments he made about his predictions and whether they were right or wrong or very wrong.

But therein lies the tragedy of Roth’s diary: _he had fantastic insights and admirable emotional self control, yet he was still unable to take advantage of the investment opportunities the Depression offered_. In fact, only an elite class was able to take advantage of the rock bottom asset prices because only they had surplus income/capital after they made sure they could provide for their families.

## Why buying low is so hard

Starvation is not a threat in 21st century United States, and it likely wouldn’t be even if another depression hit. But the same dilemma that kept Roth from taking advantage of panic prices in assets in the 30s still keep people from doing the same today. Why is that?

The dilemma is that the only time assets lose significant value is when the economic stability of the future is jeopardized and uncertain. It’s at that moment when a working family can’t rely on their ability to earn an income, because their business may dry up or they may be laid off. So instead of looking for investment deals, a family pays off debt to lower their risk, or they increase their savings, or they use all they have to buy necessities. _And the opportunity of a lifetime drifts by_.

However, hindsight bias kicks in again. If we truly knew the opportunity of 1932 or 1939 or even 2009, there is no doubt we would have made some radical choices to get any assets we could invested in the stock market or other assets like real estate. But in the midst of those times, investing looks like foolishness, not opportunism.

Most discouraging about those missed opportunities is that even when someone recognizes the opportunity _and_ has the resources to take advantage of the opportunity, it’s still not certain they’ll profit!

Roth tells the story of a friend who had the wherewithal to buy 1000 shares of Warner stock in 1935 for 3 ⅛. The stock went to 18 in two years turning a approximately $3,000 investment into $18,000. Instead of selling out, his friend borrowed money on margin to buy more stocks. The crash of 1937 came shortly after, and his friend lost everything. Even someone who maintained the optimism to invest got taken down by the market…if only he had not borrowed to invest.

## Lessons for today

Roth comments often on the dangers of borrowing money to invest in anything. Sure, in a rising market it makes an investor much more profitable to borrow to invest. But markets have never, ever sustained their rises indefinitely, and at times, you get entire decades when the market crashes frequently, decimating anyone who has borrowed to invest. Roth claims that every single person he knew who had borrowed to invest was wiped out in the 1930s.

Roth became a student of investing during the Depression, and he shares a lot of his education in his diary. Most of this investment advice is very conservative in nature, but an ultra conservative investment strategy is the _only_ way investors didn’t lose their shirt in the 1930s. Today, many people are comfortable taking considerably more risk than Roth would recommend in the late 30s. And if we never hit another depression like the Great one, then it is a wise strategy.

But is it a guarantee that we won’t hit another depression as long and deep as the Great Depression? Absolutely not. However, is it even remotely likely? That’s where the real debate lies. Much has changed since the 1930s. Our financial system today is much different from the system of Roth’s time. Perhaps we have the mechanisms to avoid another depression…or perhaps it’s arrogant to think we are different from those in the generations before us.

And that to me is the greatest value of this book. Although we live in very different times, we are not so different than the generations before us. We can learn from what they went through, but we cannot claim we have a superior enlightenment that will protect us from all catastrophe.

_We have to live and make decisions in humility, recognizing our own naivety and limitations_. If we do so, we still may fall victim to the disruptive forces of this world, but we will have the strongest defense available to us: **the willingness to educate ourselves.**

## Recommendation

I can’t recommend this book to every reader. Roth’s inclination to make investment strategy a major theme of his writings will bore and disengage many. To those who enjoy investment insights and the stock market, Roth’s book, along with editor’s James Ledbetter’s insight, are guaranteed to entertain and educate.

If you don’t fancy stock talk, I don’t recommend this book. However, it is essential that everyone spend time educating themselves about the Great Depression to 1) learn to be thankful for the era of plenty in which we currently live, 2) to humbly recognize how vulnerable the complex systems around us are, and 3) to have a basis for how to react in the case we go through something similar…or worse.

No matter what lies ahead of us, ultimately, if we understand the true nature of this world…_the best is yet to come._


My old 401(k): Here is what you really need to know

Not Buying It


I try to soak up as much perspective as possible on raising children well because 1) Sara (my wife) and I strive to help our own children become joyful, independent people and 2) Greater Than Financial claims to be suited to help parents do the same through their financial resources, and to back up that claim, I have to stay sharp.

So while perusing the library last month, Sara saw _Not Buying It_ in the New Items section, and thought it was a great fit to move to the top of my reading list.

_Not Buying It: Stop overspending and start raising happier, healthier, more successful kids_ was written by Brett Graff, a former US Government economist and editor of the site TheHomeEconomist.com. She has one daughter, and much of her advice comes from her own experience, often learning by doing the opposite of what she advises.

The book’s subtitle gives a thorough and accurate description of its content. _Not Buying It_ targets parents who believe (or are easily convinced by marketers) in ways to buy an advantage for their children, whether through educational materials, teachers/coaches, food, clothing, or medical care.

Graff doesn’t claim spending in those areas don’t have real benefits. Her argument is there are more important factors in creating happy, healthy, successful kids. Many families put too much emphasis on expensive things and experiences, while not emphasizing what’s most important such as time with family and a college education.

### The Value

Graff’s writing caused me to consider what Sara and I have spent so far on our children, and for that reason, I got value from this book.

In our heavily marketed culture, **_not_** spending money at every sale, on every idea, or at every whim doesn’t come natural. Especially when the marketing targets one of our most intense passions: our child’s well being. It takes training (aka _hard work_) to make wise purchasing decisions. This book helps condition you against being duped by clever marketing and to instead put your resources toward what is truly important to you.

To give an example of Graff’s philosophy let’s look at the chapter most challenging to my way of thinking. Chapter 5, titled _Your Star_, goes after the amount of money parents spend on cultivating their children’s skills and talents.

How many families do you know spend thousands of dollars on training sessions for sports or dance or singing? I know many, have spent on such things myself, and have thought about investing a lot more. The idea is our kids’ skills will translate into a rich college scholarship so it’s a worthy investment, and maybe they’ll even become a professional, turning their skill into money.

But what are the odds that your child will fall into the small group who become a division I or II college athlete, or even a professional? And if they do become a professional, what are the odds they’ll make a fulfilling income? Very few professional athletes get paid like LeBron. And even if they do, they may pay the cost with their long term health.

The worst part, if we are honest as parents, is much of our kids’ development is really about us:

_But while our kids are winning, singing, or starring and we are beaming with pride, a tiny portion of that accomplishment is fueling our own lunacy. That’s part of what drives us to pay for lessons and police the practicing._

I admit, I’m already guilty of this with my 5 year old daughter’s piano lessons. I can easily rationalize my insistence as motivated by developing diligence and patience in our girl, but I admit I’m highly conscious of how her piano talent (and work to develop it) reflects on Sara and I.

Graff makes more of these points, with some backed by solid research. But other, less powerful points feel as if she added them to fill space. Many of her ideas for alternatives to high spending are already being practiced by the common sense parents I know (cue the cliche about common sense not being so common).

### So much for examining alternatives

I don’t agree with Graff’s recommendation to use savings from spending smarter to fund your child’s college education. Her book’s main premise is to buck the status quo purchasing decisions and take up more cost efficient alternatives that are more effective at ensuring our child’s well-being, yet she abandons that philosophy by painting a college education as the holy grail for kids.

Here’s the reality: college education is rapidly becoming commoditized. It is _not_ the best path for every child’s well being. For some, it makes a lot of sense, but not for all. If we’re looking for ways to get the most bang for the bucks we spend on our kids, then a college education should be front of the line for scrutiny, not the answer.

In chapter 4, Graff makes the case for choosing a public education over a private education, citing studies which show public school as at least on par with private school when controlling for demographics. Yes, private schools have better performance, but the correlation does not equal causation. It’s one of her strongest points in the book.

There is no such reference to studies that control for those same type of factors when considering how much value a college education gives. College education vs alternatives needs to be examined by Graff just as public vs private secondary education is. This glaring mistreatment undermines her credibility and makes the book difficult to recommend.

I would love to hear a dialogue between Brett Graff and Joshua Sheats, who spoke at length about college education [in episode 276 of his Radical Personal Finance podcast](https://radicalpersonalfinance.com/276-financial-planner-refuses-save-money-kids-college/), titled _Why this financial planner refuses to save money for his kids’ college_. I highly encourage you to listen to Joshua dissect the value of college education in 60 minutes.

### Should you read this book?

If you have ever uttered the words “kids are so expensive,” then yes, you should read _Not Buying It_. There is enough content to cause you to examine or reexamine spending on your children and the value they (or you) receive from such expenditures.

If you are already highly conscious of the money you spend on your children, this book may not provide you much. There were no ideas I’d consider novel. However, it’s one thing to think you’re spending money with purpose, but another to practice it. For me, I usually err on the side of I’ve got something to learn.

### My primary takeaway

Examine everything you spend on. Don’t believe what the world tells you. Do your own research. Especially when it comes to the education of your children, including preschool, primary, secondary, and postsecondary.

And finally, spend quality, purposeful time with your children.


Feel the “Paying”: 2 keys to know you’re getting value from your financial person


Every decision you make is based on the value you receive. Take your morning: is the \$1 for the coffee worth the warm drink and cascade of caffeine in your system? Is there value in brushing your teeth for a minute to help ensure dental health and squash morning breath? Is driving 5 mph above the speed limit and risking a ticket worth getting to work 2 minutes earlier?

You make those decisions every day with hardly a thought. Other decisions don’t come as natural, such as deciding if your family should get help with their financial plan or investments.

Why is it a tough decision? Quick survey: do you know exactly how much you are paying or have paid to a financial services professional when you’ve engaged their services? You don’t, but hardly anyone does.

Why does nobody know? Because it’s a pain to figure out what you’re “paying”. But without knowing the cost, it’s impossible to determine the value of financial advice. So you’ll either skip the advice entirely or simply find the guy (or gal) in the industry you can _trust_ and say “take care of it and spare me the details”.

It shouldn’t be this way. Many people hate on the financial services industry because it’s greedy and deceptive. The hate is often justified. But what’s the solution? According to recent Department of Labor rulings, the cure is government intervention, but such intervention will not come without its own costs. I have a better idea.

To improve perceptions of financial services, _empower consumers_. When a consumer is empowered with _good information_, they will flee from greedy and deceitful businesses. Consumers of financial advice need and deserve to know what they are paying. They should **demand** to know what they’re paying. So let’s shout it from a mountain, it’s time to **FEEL THE PAYING** so families can engage financial advice with confidence.

The challenge: the financial services industry would rather not share this information. So it’s no surprise the commissions, fees and expenses are buried deep within the products or services sold. And by buried deep, I mean many advisors themselves cannot quickly ascertain how much of your money is being paid in fees, commissions, or other expenses.

But take heart, you are not a hapless victim. To help you determine the value of financial advice for your family and **feel the paying**, you simply need 2 keys.

##### **Communication**

If you want to know the fees, commission, and expenses you are currently paying, your most powerful tool is to **_ask your advisor_**.

Be sure to watch the advisor’s reaction when you ask about expenses. Does he confidently look you in the eye and maintain calm composure? Does he give you a clear and understandable answer? He should, because as much as fees and expenses mean to a family’s long term financial well-being, the advisor should know the answer to the question and clearly communicate the information to you.

Be ready to ask the question about fees and expenses more than once. And if you still aren’t sure you are getting all the information, just sit silently as you consider the advisor’s answers. Silence is powerful tool you can use to get more useful information, or a commitment from the advisor they will work to get you better answers.

Still not confident you’re getting all the information you seek? Ask your advisor’s competitors. Call up a competing financial advisor, tell them exactly what you are doing, and ask them to help you figure out all of your fees and expenses.

Why would competing advisors help you for free? They see an opportunity for new business if they can show you they could provide more value than your current situation.

Still, these solutions still put you at the mercy of the information the advisors know or are willing to disclose. That’s why you need a second key…

##### **Education**

Everyone has their own agenda as they publish information, so it’s vital to gather information from multiple sources, not just your advisor. Good news: never in history have you had access to more information from more sources than today.

But all that information may overwhelm you, so here’s a quick educational guide for understanding the primary fees you’re likely paying when it comes to financial advice and investing:

**Product commission:** This is a charge based on a percentage of the money put into a particular financial product, most or all of which goes to the salesperson recommending the product. An example is an annuity which normally carries a 7% commission. That’s $7,000 on a $100,000 investment.

The salesperson may say that the commission is not paid out of your investment and that you’ll still see your full \$100,000 on your statement, but consider two questions: First, if the money doesn’t come from the investor’s investment, where does it come from? The company? But where do they get their money. See where I’m going here? _It’s always the investor’s money that pays the commission, however indirectly._

Second, can the investor get the full \$100,000 back out next month if something changes? The answer is inevitably, no. If you want your money back before a certain period of time, you’ll likely receive your initial investment minus 1-12%, depending on how long you’ve held the investment.

Many mutual funds also have commissions. The commission is called a **_sales charge_**, and the upfront sales charge can climb up to 5.75% on the initial investment. How much the charge is depends on which _share class_ your money is invested in (A, B, C, R, and I are common share classes) and how much is invested.

And because one share class has a lower upfront sales charge than others, it doesn’t mean the salesperson is doing you a favor. If there’s a lower upfront sales charge, you’ll be charged higher exit fees (called contingent deferred sales charges or CDSC) or higher ongoing expenses which leads us to…

**Mutual fund (and ETF) expenses:** Mutual funds often have ongoing fees called 12b-1 fees. A large portion of this fee will go to the salesperson (or their company) who invested you into the fund. It’s also referred to as a distribution fee. To figure out how much it is, do an internet search for your fund and then find the expense ratio. The 12b-1 fee is normally included as a part of the expense ratio.

Expense ratios on mutual funds and exchange traded funds (ETFs) can range from next to zero all the way to 2%. Beside 12b-1 fees, the expenses a fund charges goes to the advisor(s) managing the fund and the company that provided administrative duties for the fund.

To get more information on these expenses, as well as sales charges on funds, do an internet search with the ticker symbol of your fund and “prospectus” (i.e. XYZ prospectus). Within the first few search results, you should see either a PDF link or a page containing a PDF link to your funds prospectus. Once you have the PDF prospectus, hit CTRL+F on your keyboard (or command + F) to do a document search, then type in any of the following to find what you’re looking for: 12-b, management fees, sales charge.

**Transaction fees:** This is the cost of buying or selling a stock, bond, mutual fund, or ETF. Sometimes an investor can see this cost directly deducted from their account, and other times it’s absorbed by the fund or the brokerage company and added to the ongoing expenses.

Certain [custodians](http://www.investopedia.com/terms/c/custodian.asp) will waive these fees if you buy certain funds, especially their own funds. They can do this because they’ll either make money by creating an incentive for people to buy their own funds, or in the case they’re offering another company’s funds, [they’ll usually get a kick back](http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748704713004576209022971281278#:d0-9LJcvrWp7uA) (which is very tough information to uncover).

**Advisory fee:** The advisory fee is normally deducted from the investment account managed by the financial advisor. This fee ranges from 0.15% for highly automated advisors (like robo-advisors) to 2-3% for hedge fund managers. A 1% fee is usually thought of as average, however, the average is dropping thanks to competition.

**Retirement plan expenses:** Many of the expenses paid by your company’s retirement plan fall into the categories already listed, but they are worth listing separately because they are often paid by your employer. Sounds good for investors, right? Only if your company has made sure they are getting good value for the expense. If not, that is wasted money that could be added to your account through a higher employer contribution.

To determine the expenses on your company’s retirement plan, you may have to dig in the weeds of your plan’s documents, and even then you could come up short of having all the information. Your next place to turn would be your own company’s financial statements, which should list if they are paying a third party advisory firm and how much.

**Flat fees (hourly or retainer):** These fees are normally paid out-of-pocket (by check or deducted from your bank account) as opposed to being deducted from your accounts. These are the most transparent of all the fees listed.

—

There are also numerous books to help you avoid getting duped by high fees. One of my favorites is John Bogle’s [The Little Book of Common Sense Investing](https://books.google.com/books?id=GGBwk8mi8qcC&dq=the+little+book+of+common+sense+investing&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwil6ra--J3MAhUFOiYKHR8kAQcQ6AEIJTAA). Tony Robbins wrote [Money Master the Game](https://books.google.com/books?id=wghcBAAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=money+master+the+game&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiE78q4-KLMAhXMdD4KHQ_1B4YQ6AEIKjAA#v=onepage&q=money%20master%20the%20game&f=false) which contains great information on financial fees, but be warned, he rambles and has [some potential conflicts of interest](http://www.thinkadvisor.com/2014/12/08/tony-robbins-slams-critics-says-hes-not-a-financia) with the advice he’s giving.

Two simple keys: communication and education. Those can completely alter the course of your family’s financial plan. Even if you met your advisor at church (or _especially_ if you met your advisor at church), you have to be willing to drill him on commissions, fees and expenses. Don’t be afraid to ask, it could literally be a million dollar question. And educate yourself. You don’t have to become an expert, but basic understanding of the financial fees playing field will empower you and be worth your time. Avoid financial _pain_ by knowing what you’re _paying_.


Do you know the six greatest words in the English language?


I love everything about these 6 words. They lay at the foundation of my life. And they have a lot to say about your life as well.

> The best is yet to come

Those 6 words have 4 attributes which make it profound.

**First, is what it means for the future.**

Those words are the epitome of optimism. There’s only one alternative to optimism. And pessimism implies that life is mostly outside of your control, which is a defeated and false way to live life.

**The second is what those words say about the past, or more appropriately, what they don’t say about the past.**

There is no implication in that phrase of whether the past we’ve come from was incredible or terrible.

Some are thinking “the best better be coming because I’ve already been through hell and back” while others are worried they’ve already used up their good years as if it’s a finite resource.

But “the best is yet to come” puts those who’ve been through hell at the same starting line as those who have never felt better. In light of these words, our pasts matter not, there is only our future.

**The third quality is the use of the word _best_.**

The definition gives us all we need to know: of the most excellent, effective, or desirable type or quality. There is no room here for decent, pretty good, or half-heartedness. The best trumps all.

**The last profound attribute of this phrase is its _certainty_.**

The best is coming, there is no might or maybe. If you believe it in the depth of your being, then it becomes your reality. If the best isn’t here yet, it means you simply have to hold on a bit longer, and it will soon arrive.

Granted, this will not be everyone’s reality. In fact, many will simply refuse to believe it. My heart breaks for them because I can see clearly what they’re missing out on. And it’s really good.

As for me and my family, the “best is yet to come” is our reality which makes it a truth in our lives, and that jazzes me up.

But this isn’t just me and my family. You and your family were also created for a purpose. I hope you see that. That purpose often gets lost in this dark chaotic world. Our adventure is cutting through the darkness to win back the purpose we were created for.

In the meantime, we don’t need to complicate it. It’s as simple as it’s ever been and it’s as simple as it ever will be. Repeat it to yourself hundreds, better yet, thousands of times:

_The best is yet to come._


Why the Name Greater Than Financial? For Purpose


So many problems in the world, so many reasons to be pessimistic. No need for an exhaustive list, you’re familiar with the darkness, it’s all around us. And there you sit as a parent in the 21st Century wondering what kind of world you brought kids into, feeling helpless to truly make a difference and find prupose in this daily chaos.

That helpless feeling is one of the worst. You can identify the problems, but there’s nothing you can do. We think “it’s out of my control” or “how could I really make a difference?” And you’re right, the solutions to the world’s problems, our country’s problems, or even our local communities’ problems seem much bigger than you or me. However, we are not helpless.

We do have the power to change what needs to be changed, but the scope of the issues put us at a significant disadvantage. It means we must use every resource at our disposal to make our impact. We can’t afford more hapless attempts that merely bounce off the armor of the problems we face. It’s time to be strategic.

We may not be world leaders or even community leaders, but we do hold the keys to hope for our children’s and children’s children’s world. Which is exactly our advantage.

While there are countless forces beyond our control, we do have direct access to one of the most, if not the most, powerful forces in the universe: the lives and minds of our children. Walt Disney claimed, “Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children.” And by who or what are those minds most influenced? Those they are closest to: their family. A family always has and always will be the bedrock of healthy societies. And he who holds the hearts and minds of a family holds the keys to the future.

So we find ourselves in possession of a power with unmeasurable potential, holding the keys to the future, and yet we’ve buried the keys in life’s junk drawer while we flip on the game or hop on Facebook. Our lack of motivation to lead our family doesn’t seem like a threat because it seems we are too insignificant to really make a difference. It’s time to start seeing that kind of thinking for what it really is: a lie. We have merely lacked engagement and failed to take advantage of the one thing we have the most influence over.

That is why I created Greater Than Financial. You see, every conversation about your resources (money) is really a conversation about what’s important to you. If we can make it simpler for you to use your resources to lay a healthy foundation for our families on which to flourish, our families will mature into productive engaging forces in our world. If enough families live with that kind of purpose we will see the positive repercussions move throughout our society.

How will Greater Than Financial be able to move families to live with such a purpose? First, eliminate the noise and distractions that paralyze us from moving our families to something greater. What would happen to your family if it became crystal clear what’s truly important to you? Why hasn’t that happened for you yet? Because in the hustle of life, you barely get time to slow down enough to eat and briefly talk together, let alone think about the bigger picture.

You need an intentional intervention, which is exactly what I plan to provide. If a family gets professional, expert help to first determine what’s truly important to them. The next step is to make a plan on how to most efficiently accomplish that purpose, clearing the path for achieving something significant. It’s a simple strategy, but with it, I think we have all we need to impact this world.

If I live to work an average length career, I’m not even out of the 1st quarter yet. So with most of the game ahead of me, I’ve realized something. If I spend my time simply helping people manage investments the potential impact will always be limited. But if I spend my time helping move families to train up their children and set the stage for world impact, that sounds like an adventure of a lifetime.

That’s why the name of this company is Greater Than Financial. I see the potential impact of the conversations I plan on having being far greater than only financial. I honestly see them as being eternal, which is the highest purpose I can imagine.


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